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Saturday, April 12, 2014

The Moral Compass



Morality...a rather intimidating word, isn't it? It brings to mind rules regarding which aspects of life are good, bad, dirty or clean. It's an imposing word but also, completely vague. What IS morality and whom decides what is moral and what isn't?

I've asked this of different people over the years and more than once they've responded with the idea of a moral compass. Okay, but who decides how this magical compass works? I had a friend cite the Bible as the author of all things moral or not but what if you aren't a part of a religion based on Christianity? Does this mean you are instantly immoral because your moral compass isn't guided by biblical teachings? What if you do not agree with everything in the Bible or maybe you follow the teachings of less popular scripture? 

Then there are the societal rules. The rules that society, as a whole, put forth as the guideline to what is moral and immoral. These are, of course, based on the personal opinions of those ancestors that have gone before us and very few have changed with the times. Many are outmoded ideas those some are completely relevant and necessary. Murder is immoral, unless you kill someone protecting yourself/family. All these nuances to the moral code, nothing set entirely in stone. 

Recently, I was having a discussion with someone and they referred to several people I know as "immoral" with regards to their views on sex/sexuality. While I might be considered more traditional in my personal sexuality/sex life; I'm pretty broadminded about sex/sexuality in general. I was offended by the idea they were immoral people just because they weren't in traditional "Christian" relationships. 

I'm sure you are wondering what I mean by that last statement, so let me explain. I have friends that do not follow the idea that a relationship is made up of one man and one woman. I have friends that believe sex should be adventurous and shared with others. That maybe a spanking isn't something you do to naughty children. I have friends that are homosexual and friends that are in relationships that might include more than two people. I have people that have fetishes or closets full of "martial aides" and friends that think porn is awesome for a couple to watch together. They are all in loving, long-term relationships that I would consider healthy. Healthier than some of the "traditional" relationships I've seen. 

While in this discussion with said "moral judge", I asked why these people are immoral and they responded with, "well, I wouldn't do that and it's wrong." Wait....what?! Just because it's not something you'd do, it automatically makes it immoral? How does one become the moral compass by which the world should judge themselves? I'd like to assume the role of Moral Ruler. Does it come with a crown? A throne?

Seriously though, just because you don't like something, doesn't make it immoral. It makes it distasteful...TO YOU. Whether someone is gay, polyamory, into BDSM/S&M, swinging, swapping, fetishists, traditional or experimental...as long as it's between consenting adults, I don't see how it could be considered immoral. They are happy, healthy, and content. They are not affecting you and your relationship. They aren't knocking at your door asking to drink the Kool-Aid and convert to their way of thinking.

Maybe my moral compass is a little wobbly and doesn't point North, as was implied by the "moral judge". I think I'd rather be immoral and see people happy than be their kind of moral and walk through life hating everything in it that doesn't think like they do.

By the way, I was told I was "raised better than this" for thinking this way. Oh well, someone save me a seat in Hell.